Melancholia - the happines of being sad

I do not understand why it`s hard to write abaut feelings that I went trough so many times. The worst I`m, in fact, that they can not be described and captured in their essence.To understand them, you have to go through. The smile of suffering is more painful than tears of crying... You say that you`re sad when you choose not to be happy, and that in fact we are the ones who choose to see the ugly side of things to put ourselves in position victim? Each state of mind tends to adapt its specific way of corresponding external or exterior make this a proper vision to its nature. Human eyes see outside what bothers him inside. In melancholy man sprouts wings not enjoy the world, but just to be alone...